“My child is a narcissist!”

Sometimes, in my work, I hear things that make me reflect, and until I put them on paper, I can’t stop thinking about them.

For example: “My child is a narcissist!”

To be honest, statements like this from parents concern me. Even if teenage behavior can sometimes appear selfish, this is actually part of their psychological development—their task is to separate from their parents and begin thinking more about themselves.

Of course, a narcissistic personality style cannot be completely ruled out in teenagers, but conclusions about this should only be drawn as the child matures. It is important to observe:
✔ How they behave within the family.
✔ How they interact with peers, teachers, coaches, and romantic partners.
✔ How they adapt socially and function in life overall.

If a person struggles with social adaptation, only by looking at the bigger picture can we begin to make conclusions.

A narcissistic individual is often rigid toward change, with fluctuating empathy. In this case, empathy is not based on true compassion but rather on self-interest. I will give some examples of this later.

Characteristics of a Narcissistic Personality Style:

✔ A belief in their superiority and special status.
✔ Blaming others & refusing responsibility.
✔ Chronic dissatisfaction and frequent complaints.
✔ Self-centeredness and an extreme need for admiration and validation.
✔ Publicly demeaning others—partners, friends, or even children.
✔ A strong need for control, manipulation, and psychological games to maintain power.

Additionally, empathy is often used as a tool for control.
Simply asking, “How do you feel about this?” does not automatically indicate true empathy. If, for instance, you cry, and the first time they comfort you—but the next time, they call you “too emotional”—this is not genuine empathy.

Narcissistic parents often use these tactics with their children.
✔ Silent treatment as a form of punishment.
✔ Criticism, ridicule, and rejection.
✔ Emotional outbursts directed at children.
✔ Other forms of emotional abuse and manipulation.