A Mother’s and Father’s Eyes

A theme that is deeply relevant in work with parents.

Yes, it truly matters what a child sees when they look into their mother’s and father’s eyes. In essence, it shapes their entire internal and external reality, their future life—determining the strength, weakness, or inflation of their Ego. It defines a person’s fate, even influencing psychosomatic symptoms. Through interactions with the mother as the primary caregiver, psychological complexes are formed. No one, upon birth, can avoid the presence of complexes—they will emerge regardless. In turn, these complexes influence the presence and dominant pole of archetypes in an individual’s psyche.

When the positive mother complex dominates in a person’s psyche, the Mother archetype appears infinitely nurturing but also restrictive—the individual expects life to provide everything effortlessly, as if milk and honey flow freely. In contrast, when the negative mother complex dominates, the Mother archetype falls into the negative pole. The Ego, in a sense, finds itself under the rule of the goddess Kali, where death and destruction often prevail. The future appears bleak, yet when problems arise, the Ego is prepared, and the person resigns, saying, “I knew nothing good was coming for me.” They quickly learn to subordinate their needs to the interests of others.

Today, I use these two extremes to illustrate the profoundly significant factor in Ego formation—one that has an immense impact on a person’s life.

That is why I encourage you to put down the device in your hands and look at your child. Even if they are busy—drawing, singing, or playing in the park. For both young and older children, but especially the youngest ones, a parent’s gaze and loving attention are essential. It can be compared to emotional nourishment. Everyone knows that in a caring home, a child is well-fed, physically active, and taken for walks in the fresh air. However, emotional nourishment is just as crucial.

The simplest way to provide emotional nourishment to a child is to see and hear them. If this is missing, the child experiences emotional starvation, which results in emotional numbness. A child feels loved and safe when their parent notices and acknowledges their need for emotional dependence and attachment. That is why it is enough for a parent to simply see, hear, watch, and from time to time, smile at their child with love and joy.

Wishing everyone a warm and emotionally rich late summer filled with smiles! ☀️💛