The Impact of Violence on Attachment and Psychological Well-being

Violence

—whether verbal or physical expressions of anger and rejection—can have severe psychological and psychosomatic consequences.

Children who experience domestic violence are often described as depressed, passive, and struggling to adapt to new environments. They tend to be angry, restless, and aggressive. These children do not know how to play, rarely experience joy, or may not express happiness at all. Their emotional expressions are often muted, misunderstood, ambiguous, or contradictory.

They quickly become angry, their anger is intense, and they struggle to control it. Once these behavioral patterns develop, they tend to persist into adulthood.

Children who have experienced violence from parents or caregivers often display extreme vigilance and heightened anxiety in their relationships with them. Some children become overly sensitive to their parents’ needs, showing an early understanding that an anxious or potentially violent mother can be calmed by constantly catering to her desires.

The Reproduction of Violence in Social Environments

Children who experience violence at home often provoke aggressive behavior from peers in school or kindergarten. They are frequently seen as the instigators of conflicts and disputes, becoming the scapegoats in their social environment—both by teachers and classmates.

Abusive parents tend to expect and demand emotional care and attention from their children, resulting in a role reversal where the child takes on the responsibility of caring for the mother or both parents.

The Cycle of Violence in Adulthood

People who suffered abuse in childhood often experience violence in adulthood as well. Repeated failures, followed by moments of care and repair, create a pattern that sends a message of love and attachment—showing the child that there is someone who cares for them.

If mistakes or emotional wounds are not repaired in time, the child grows up with a deep sense of unresolved failure. This creates a lifelong tendency to unconsciously seek situations where these past failures can be “corrected”, shaping their relationship patterns (Donald Winnicott).

If an individual experiences family violence from an early age, they often internalize the belief that they are unworthy of love and respect. As adults, they unconsciously enter relationships that reaffirm this belief—seeking partners who do not respect them, sometimes even endangering their own life and well-being.