Did you know that the Christmas Star needs to have its tip broken off for it to grow fuller and more beautiful? I only recently learned about this.
Yesterday, during a session with a couple trying to rebuild their relationship after infidelity—working through loss, struggles, and the changes that come after betrayal—it became crystal clear that nothing will ever be the same again. This is the first illusion one must let go of. There are, of course, many reasons for this, but the blow to the Ego—the impact of Anima and Animus—always leaves consequences.
Jung compared this shock to being caught between a hammer and an anvil. And indeed, it unleashes a massive wave of archetypal energy. The real question is how the Ego will handle it, because the Ego complex is simply not equipped to contain a tsunami of emotions. Whether it wants to or not, it gets caught in emotional turbulence, and no one knows how far it will be carried, where it will land, or in what condition it will be when it does.
This is why, after such an experience, no one remains the same person they were before. And just like that, the relationship will never be the same again either. What it will become—and whether it will even continue—depends entirely on the couple.
I chose the Christmas Star as an illustration because I find it to be one of the most beautiful metaphors for the challenges one must endure on the path of personal growth, learning, and transformation. The euphoria of love, the disillusionment that comes with reality, and then the struggle to get back on one’s feet and make sense of the chaos. The result is a new balance in the relationship—hopefully, a better one than before.
I would love to wish that this process could be easy and effortless, but unfortunately, that is rarely the case. As Jung said, growth does not happen gradually or gently, but rather in sudden and explosive leaps.
So, I wish everyone a soft landing and a strong enough Ego so that, after facing such and other crises, you can look back and marvel at your own strength, appreciate yourself, and love yourself on your journey of growth. 💛
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