Do You Believe in Life After Love

This article is dedicated to those who suffer and are unhappy in relationships where they are being abused.

My articles appeal to people who have experienced or are going through the same processes. And I am very happy for clients who finally manage to end abusive relationships. Even if they themselves do not feel it yet, because everything has happened too recently, has been too painful, with the police or relatives involved to help and defend them. And these situations, although painful, give me hope and faith in the good in people, in the state’s ability to defend and protect women after they have experienced violence. A little bit of reality that is not usually reflected in films.

The title of Cher’s song, “Do You Believe in Life After Love,” very accurately reflects the feelings that people experience after a breakup. I have written in previous articles that the loss of a loved one through separation is similar to the death of a loved one. And going through this grieving process can seem endless. Even in situations where there has been violence in the relationship. Whether it was physical, emotional, or sexual, there was also something good that kept the person with their partner despite the lack of empathy, inability to be in a close relationship, mockery, ridicule, and devaluation. In some situations, the good was a momentary impression, created by passion or illusion, but it was there because the loving partner felt it, and it is precisely these feelings that can remain for some time even after the breakup, just like the hope that the other person will understand, see, and appreciate, but the longer the hope remains, the longer the emotional attachment continues.

By this I mean that there are people who get over it faster than a lizard sheds its tail, and there are people who grieve and mourn for years; each person has their own way. I also quite often hear people say with conviction, “I will never meet anyone again, I will never love again, I will never feel joy in life again, I will never be happy again!” I can say with complete confidence, based on my practical experience, that these beliefs are NOT TRUE. Even after a breakup, people meet other people, experience love and happiness, and definitely live a much, much more peaceful life. Statistics also show that if a person has left an abusive relationship, done their homework, talked to themselves, signed a diary, talked to a specialist, they have a 70% or more chance of finding a reasonable partner who will not be abusive, but will be authentic, not fake, not manipulative, and capable of true closeness and presence. I hope that these statistics and my clients’ experiences after divorce will help you believe that life after love, no matter how great and strong it may have been, will be better, calmer, with fewer emotional storms, with greater autonomy, without merging and remembering your own needs in a relationship, not just those of the other person.

Because divorce is not only a transformation of personality, but also a rediscovery of oneself and a new life, a new value system, and a different quality of relationship with the next partner. You could say it’s the fastest way to become your own home, of course, doing it consciously.

And yes, there is life after love! Full of new people, new opportunities, and new challenges, but with a completely different level of awareness.