Sometimes people don’t sign up for sessions because something bad has happened. But rather because they feel stuck in their lives. And from the outside, like in Instagram photos, everything looks very beautiful, because they work hard, function well, care a lot about others, make a lot of decisions, including for others, take on a lot of responsibility, and seem to be constantly moving forward in their lives. But internally, they feel emptiness or exhaustion, confusion, repetitive relationship patterns, emotional loneliness, or a feeling that something in their life has gone off the rails. But there is no clear, obvious, or logical explanation for this.
And while working in sessions, I have observed a very interesting recurring phenomenon. Because when analyzing dreams, unconscious messages, and previous relationship patterns, as well as the experiences and relationship patterns of previous generations. Because sessions are a place where we carefully examine what is actually happening beneath the visible and socially acceptable layer imposed by other people’s expectations. And it must be said that everything here has meaning—the dynamics of the client’s relationships, attachment patterns, trauma connections, emotional wounds, dream symbols, internal conflicts, and unconscious processes that influence a person’s choices much more than we usually realize.
And very often this feeling of being stuck is related to unpaid debts, yes, literally debts, and they can be many and varied, for example, losing the role of a child, an older sister has taken on the role of a mother and looked after her sister or brother or both, while the parents are busy with their own lives or other responsibilities. Similarly, a child can take on the role of a parent and remain in that role forever, caring and serving, and not living their own life, without even realizing it. Similarly, after a divorce, a person may remain stuck in the hope that they will be appreciated and that their former partner will thank them. This is because they feel that they have invested all their energy and finances in the former relationship and children. They feel that they have pulled everything together endlessly, while their former partner has been much more irresponsible. And these and many other unrecognized and uncompensated debts keep people attached and stuck.
And this does not happen consciously, because no one voluntarily chooses to remain stuck somewhere and not move on. Because this disturbed balance is very difficult for the psyche to process, in some cases almost impossible, because then one would have to admit that it was all done in vain. Both mistakes and loyalty, or sometimes, in the case of adult relationships, naivety and love. The most painful thing is probably to admit that, in the name of love, he has allowed himself to be manipulated or used. I have heard countless stories of women who, persuaded by their partners, take out loans that they themselves have to repay after the breakup, while their ex-partner drives the car they bought, uses the equipment for work, or travels peacefully, while the client struggles with anger and helplessness. There are many, many such situations. It is also very difficult to stop investing in a business that is not bearing fruit, and the same applies to relationships. Because if you have already invested so much, it seems almost impossible to stop now, as it would require admitting defeat, admitting to yourself that you have made a mistake, and also admitting that you are not living your own life, but performing a function in someone else’s life. And then you would have to start all over again. That sounds very scary, doesn’t it?
If these stories resonate with you, feel free to get in touch.
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