When watching Christmas movies, the families depicted in them often give the impression of having warm, loving, friendly, and peaceful relationships with each other. This is certainly possible, but unlikely, at least in the rush to organize Christmas or other celebrations.
Indeed, organizing an event that involves more than one person will be associated with increased stress levels. Let’s not even talk about big events like weddings, for example, where the stress level is definitely comparable to a family crisis. I deliberately chose the word crisis, because celebrations are certainly not only associated with positive emotions. And anyone who has ever organized an event will understand what I am talking about. Because getting everyone on board, planning everything together, and coordinating with each other can sometimes turn into an impossible mission, which can definitely cause a crisis in relationships.
Why am I writing about this today? Why am I not emphasizing the smell of mandarins and gingerbread with sweet sugar icing?
So that when any of you reading this suddenly start to blame yourselves for not feeling happy and joyful, but instead stressed and tired, unappreciated or angry at the end of the evening, you know that other people who have organized something for themselves and others feel the same way. Then know that other people who have organized something for themselves and others feel the same way. They have stood with wet backs at the stove, decorated the house, chopped down the Christmas tree, while at the same time looking after the children and trying to persuade their godmother not to make her usual herring in a fur coat or rasols, because a different meal is planned. Or trying to convince grandma not to buy 10 kg of candy for the grandchildren, but instead to come up with something creative, play games or sing songs, etc.
And what I have listed is certainly not everything you may encounter during the holidays, because gatherings of relatives and friends definitely trigger complexes, including archetypes with unresolved relationship problems between partners, which are witnessed by both children and other relatives. Then we add situations with loved ones—relatives, friends, etc.—who will have behavioral problems caused by alcohol or other substance use, with outbursts of aggression, scandals, and physical violence. And let’s not forget that during the holidays, emergency services and the police have to work extra hard. Likewise, right after the holidays, people sign up for therapy because they have experienced unpleasant moments.
Therefore, I urge you to take a break from the hustle and bustle of organizing the holidays, take a deep breath, and remember who this is really for and how you want to feel at the end of it all.
Therefore, I sincerely wish everyone peaceful, mindful, and heartfelt holidays!
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